working two jobs and coming home late to find blue sleeping iritates me… i think i need meds or something or therapy for being iritated at someone who is sleeping. i think its her face, becuase when i look at her i feel this murderous intent that seems overwelming. im graduating soon and i can’t wait my exams are this week and then im done with college and after that ill be turning 18 its super awsome. but like it says on my blog profile i still have too many days to go and still so much patients to be mastered…

going home yesterday was the easiest thing to do, not that such a simple task isn’t hard but when your coming home from a long day of school and work then have to go home to a house that has tension so thick you can cut it with a knife. and its not like i can escape to my room sense it is still inhabbited by the creature known as Blue….im going to hell, but that is a story for a diffrent day.  blue set off to washington, DC yesterday and according to my sources she couldn’t get out of the house fast enough, but the thing that im sure she relizes that we are just as excited mabye even more so that she is leaving for 5 day…5 DAYS i havent thought that a number and a word could sound so heavenly in all my life. anyway im soaking up the life i used to have by having my room all to myself, it might sound strange but i think i changed clothes like 5 times in my room… not in the closest, not the bathroom but my room. you take for granted such little things not relizing that they where important until you can’t do them anymore. its sad though i can only enjoy such peace until friday then after that i must wait till June 18… at times like these time isn’t working in my favor.

its been to long it seems sense i have confided in you sweet tublr and just like its inevitable how time passes by it is also inevitable how many adventures we have with blue. here is a small(ish) list of the things i can remeber she has done recently that i haven’t already told you:

1. My friend has finaly bless the gods cut his hair, ive known him two plus years i think and i have never seen him with short hair and now i guess hell has either frozen over or i really do have mad skills cause i picked out the hair cut and everything. anyway, after we did that we all planned on getting hair dye cause he dyes his hair black becuase he dosn’t like the natural brown hair he has and i told him and cassie that we should head back to the how cause we might have a coupon for the hair dye amongst other things. so we head back home i get the shampoo coupon sense we didn’t have the hair dye one (but he needed a new shapoo and conditoner bad anyway so it was a win win) once that was done with, mom have me a pleefull look and i knew before she even asked ‘are you taking blue with you’ i wanted to punch a baby right there but due to the fact that i was in a decent mood sense i was hanging out with bo and cassie i didn’t give it much of a fuss. so i asked blue if she wanted to go to walmart with us and of course she accepted (sometimes i wonder if i should even ask and just say lets go) it like for her to pass up a peice of cake ….NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN….stupid crack adicts and there sweet tooth… anyway thats a LONG story for later… and as im down stairs and i look up mom noticed she didn’t have her purse and had to remind this FEMALE to bring her purse…. is this sinking in… sinking…ARE YOU FREAKING KINDING ME FEMALE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ALWAYS BRING YOUR FREAKING PURSE NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO ESCPECIALLY IF YOU GOING OUT WITH PEOPLE, ARE YOU THAT DAMN STUPID…..AHAHHAHZAHAH….i have never meet a person that made be want to comit violent crimes against humanity until i meet this froot loop.
2. my poor friend stephanie had to go to the urget care becuase part of her face was swelling up and she had a weried zit thing on her head and after further evaluation she indead had an infection in her skin for lack of a better word (not gonna spill to much cause it confindental, not cool to tell friends you like business on the internet you know) anyway well while im texting her and her mom to be update on wats going on as a worried friend you know, yuna dosnt even give it a second thought as if she dosnt’ have a care in the world…B**** ….STEPHANIE HAS TAKE YOU PLACES, WITHOUT ME MAY I ADD AND HAS BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO YOU AND YOU DON’T EVEN THINK TO GIVE THE GIRL A CALL OR TEXT NO WONDER YOU DUMB ASS CAN’T FIND OR KEEP A FRIEND, STOP B*** THAT ME AND YOU HAVE A VOID WHEN IF FACT YOU HAVE A VOID WITH ALOMST EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH….(takes deep breath)… mom had to ask her and tell her to call steffi to at least see how she was doing, resa steffis mom is the person blue goes to if she needs to talk or watever and as her daughter you would think as an interligent human being that she obviously is not to call her or text to see how she is doing… DUMB ASIAN
3. something happend in the car while i was home and i thought it was hallarious… there is this super smell factory that you drive by to get to gastonia and while every one is commenting on the bad smell naming off things that also smell bad and what does blue say….. ‘it smells like chicken’ (face palm and holds the urg to punch a baby) she ment a chicken farm apparently but my cousin let her have it but the funest thing he said…. “can we call up where your from and complain we have  defective asian” i love him for all eternity for that….

Yesterday, i got up early to get the Sunday paper and brought along my dog Obie which brightened up my day cause he looks like a cutie pie sense i cut his hair. then as i was chillin watching TV ready for the pond ‘blue’ comes down makes herself cereal as I’m cleaning up the messes she and the boys made the night before which irritated me because she didn’t even bother to attempt to help me (at this point i don’t what her to ask if we need help or i will rip out her vocal cords) no, of course not instead she waited till i was done with the dishes to rise and put her bowl in the dish washer. whatever it gets better, as my friend Garrett comes by sense we where planning on going to the pond together he, my mom and myself all standing in the kitchen talking i ask ‘blue’ if she wants to go to the pond and she says

blue: “i can’t go swimming” (mother nature was calling for the week)

Me: “well im going and im probobly not going to swim, im going to get my tan on, anyway can you ask the boys upstairs if they want to go to the pong”

blue: “ok….. do i go upstairs?”

Me: “um yes ‘blue’ the boys are upstairs so ya go upstairs and asked them”

are you serious, for real…NO REALLY, i couldn’t help but piss myself laughing and i felt bad for a second cause i think she heard me laughing but i couldn’t help it…. what kind of a stupid question was that…(face, palm, smack).

ripping out my hair, if its not finding two empty soda boxes from the fridge, or finding out that there is only one egg left, or that there was no butter and no one said anything about it, i feel as if i will cut out there throats and feed it to the snakes that lurk in the backyard. this morning i come down to find that mom and julian r cleaning and stephon and ‘blue’ are sitting watching anime. for one mom hates anime so they could have been considerate and put on a movie and two ‘blue’ needs to stop asking if she can do something once everything is already done. i go straight into the kitchen without being asked and clean the microwave for mom and once im done mom and julian have already finished up the rest of the kitchen. as i pop in a bagel and sit with mom for a while waiting for my bagel to finish toasting i decide to make myself a bowl of cereal. no sooner did i take out the milk deciding what cearal i wanted did ‘blue’ already have the frosted flakes out to make herself a bowl with stephon and julian right behind her. its not a big deal i guess until you realize that they have been sitting there already for hours and now decide to grab breakfast after the kitchen had been clean and i had taken out the milk… makes me ponder and i don’t believe in coincident’s. 

is it bad when you look at someone you feel the need to strangle them, to beat the sense into them. my cousin is pushing me to that limit making me want to tear his vocal cords to shreds so he can never make a smart remark ever again. my brother is cool but i wish that he would spend the same amount of energy he uses for video games and uses it to clean up after himself, sometimes i want to shove all the ramen wraps he leaves around down his throat and choke on it.

i’m really not a violent person but i can’t control my thoughts, and im starting to wish that i can tune them out which i used to be able to in my room but now sense that is not ‘mine’ anymore i have sadly resorted to my mothers room which is inconvient. my once beloved laptop which i would consume my lonlyness times with is out of commision until i can replace the charger but until them i shall slowly loose my mind because even as i type this on the main computer i don’t like the feeling that its not mine….